TGIF

So, it's a rainy Friday here in the suburbs of Philadelphia (or, Philly as it's better known). It's a little chilly but I'm okay with that. This week has been very busy. I am mentally exhausted and now have a slight headache. Ugh!

I am in the process of negotiating new office space. I really need to get out of the toxic environment that I'm in. I can't remember if I blogged about it recently and am too lazy right now to check. Anyhoo -- my new space is in the education wing of a church. It has a door and a lock, a nice big window with vertical blinds, cushy carpeting, and I'll be the ONLY person using it. It needs some cosmetic work but who cares? The people at the church were so excited and happy that I would be bringing my "ministry" there. It's so nice to be wanted and supported. I'm hoping to be seeing clients there on July 2 but I'm not sure that will happen. Say a prayer that it will. I still have to meet with their Church Council which, in my past experience with church council, may be a challenge. But, I will face it just as I've faced it in the past and God will guide the conversation as He sees.

I just finished up two days of Disaster Crisis Outreach Response Team Training. I will be on our county DCORT team and have volunteered to be contacted should a crisis arise where our services are needed. I'm pretty excited to be a part of this but really hope that nothing happens where we'll need to be deployed. All of this "disaster" talk got me thinking -- I am in no way, shape, or form prepared if something should happen. I think I will start to assemble a "to go" bag just in case. I don't know about stockpiling food, etc just yet. They kept talking about what the responder's family will need when the responder is deployed. A little depressing considering I'm the only one in my house. I have no dependants. I have no spouse. The only one I have to be concerned about is my cat and my neighbor can take care of him.

So here I am again faced with being a "one" in a world of "twos." Really stinks. Some days I am okay with being alone and other days I'm not. It's been on my mind quite a lot lately. Probably because I'm not getting any younger and wonder who will take care of me when I'm old and feeble? Not that I plan on being old and feeble any time soon but the reality of the situation is that it's me, myself, and I. I'm wondering if the fact that I turned 40 a few months ago has anything to do with this latest perseveration? Probably. Who knows?

For now, I'll continue on my journey and pray that something exciting crops up. Until then it's life as usual.

Oh What A Beautiful Morning..........

I'm sitting here listening to the news............is there anything HAPPY going on in this world? Between false accusations, nuclear bombs, over reaction to the latest supreme court nominee, and rising gas prices I just want to watch cartoons! Gone are the days when we watched Wile E Coyote open his packages from ACME in an attempt to capture the Roadrunner.

I was listening to Ben Stein giving his commencement address at Liberty University (I think that's the name) this morning. He said that all of us have been touched by the holy (ok, so that may have not been the word but whatever...it's close) and that we should treat each other with that in mind. It was so elementary but had such truth to it........we don't treat each other as we should.

I believe that if we all started adopting this viewpoint, there would be a lot more happy stuff going on in the world.

Ok, I'm stepping off of the soap box to get ready to go to church. Today we celebrate Pentecost.....the day the Holy Spirit descended upon the apostles and other followers of Jesus. Today is also my Godson's confirmation. I'm so proud of him.

This is the day the Lord has made......let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Peace

Show Me Da Money Part Two

In my email this morning, there were two emails from the chair of the committee. He forwarded me the correspondence between the current treasurer and the Dean of our conference (who happens to be a friend of mine). Basically, the email to the treasurer said that she wasn't doing her job and that the committee decided to search for a new treasurer. It was a bit harsh but he got to the point.

She replied back that she was sorry that the committee felt she was unable to do the job....blah blah blah.....excuses abounded. She then said that she would get all of the information together for me. How in the heck did I get to be the designated person to get the stuff? My name wasn't even mentioned in the emails.....

Anyhoo....I'm glad that the two Pastors intervened and that she was responsive. Now I'm interested to see how long its going to take to get the stuff. I'm giving her two weeks then she will not be happy with my attitude.

Show Me Da Money

Everyone who reads me knows that I am very involved in my church and church activities. With that involvement comes sitting on committees and having to deal with lots of people about lots of things.

Every year, for the past 20, I have gone on retreat with about 300-400 other people -- mostly teenagers. For about the last 15 years or so I have been a part of the steering committee for this retreat. We've gone through many changes over the years but the core group of us still remains. This past Fall, one of our group members unexpectedly passed away. He was the treasurer. He did all sorts of things we didn't know until we had to find out for ourselves. It has been a learning experience for all of us to say the least.

When we opened the bank account a million years ago, I was one of the signers. No big deal....he kept everyone informed. It ran like a well oiled machine. Until now....We have someone who stepped up to be treasurer. NICE! We thought everything would be taken care of. I'm still on the account.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you that over the past several months I have called her over 50 times, sent about just as many emails, arranged a few meetings and spoken with her daughter about 10 times. Guess what??? I have yet to have contact with her. I don't know how much money is in our account. I don't know the status of the old account. I don't know if the offering money was ever sent to the intended recipient. I don't know who submitted receipts for reimbursement. Hell, I don't even know the stinking account number.

So, I raised my concerns at the last meeting we had. They were shocked when they heard all of the things that have been going on. I told them in no uncertain terms that I WOULD NOT continue this way with my name on the account and if they didn't do something about it quickly, we were going to have a serious problem.

We shall see where this ends......I should have known that this no-communication thing would be a problem based on previous experiences.

I'll keep ya posted on this one...it's going to be a doozie!

Memories

Today has been a great day! It was hot as all but what is the "unofficial" start of summer without some heat? My AC guy came over -- a little later than he said but at least he showed. The unit will last at least another year and maybe two....to replace everything that needs to be replaced will be very, very costly. The "in the ceiling" unit is as old as the house -- about 28/29 years old (I think) and the former owners installed the outside unit a few years before I bought the house...so, it's time and I'm okay with that. Don't have the cash but at least I have fair warning that it's coming so I can begin to save.

On to the fun stuff.....so mom shows up at the designated hour and we truck on over to my uncle's house. I can smell the stuff on the grill. Here's the funny thing -- he loves using a charcoal grill and has pretty much perfected it. Last year he bought a high end gas grill -- he very rarely uses it. Today, though, we had both of the grills going. I love to cook outside. There's something about hearing the meat sizzle when you drop it on the grate that is perfect.

My nephew (the oldest) was home from West Point so I got to see him. He's really maturing. He's been working out and is really, really fit. He looks good. I was glad to see him. I was also glad to see one of his friends that I haven't seen since last summer. Tuck looks good, too. I love that kid. He went fishing with the crew last summer...caught a 42 lb drum fish and threw it back in! To this day, we still don't know why and I don't think he knows why either.

The (youngest) niece had a "squad" of girls over. I was amazed -- they all had LONG hair -- really long. I guess being in 7th grade you tend to do what your friends do.........it was good to see them enjoying themselves. I can't tell you how many veggie burgers they went through. Honestly, a burger isn't a burger unless it's made with meat!

The (middle) niece came over after work with one of her friends. It was really good to see her and hear how her summer job is going. She likes it. We sat around listening to silly trivia facts that the friend had downloaded on her ipod. It was neat because we started talking about a lot of stuff.

One of the best ones was that Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. Mom chimes in with "Maybe that's why he was so smart." We all stopped and looked at her..........what? I said, "Mom...I think you're thinking of Albert Einstein. Hitchcock did the Birds and Rear Window." That did it...she busted out in such a laugh that I thought at one point she stopped breathing.

Being with my family amazes me. With my mom, my aunt (her sister) and my uncle (aunt's ex) there is never a dull moment. If we're not talking about bodily functions, we're either repeating ourselves so they can hear what was said or fixing some gadget that they don't know to. I love them, I really do. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Tonight was a great night. We're going to do it all again tomorrow...sans the two oldest kids. I think I'll take my camera so you can start putting faces and names together.

Until then.............

Good Morning, Sunshine!

I used to love when my ex said that to me.....................in fact, I love when any man says that to me. It's been quite a long time since I've heard those words. I was thinking about this because of a "text" conversation I had with a good friend of mine yesterday.

We have been friends for almost 20 years. We were both married and divorced around the same times. Our exes were friends and both musicians. We travelled together and did a lot together. The guys did not keep in touch but we did and the rest is history.

We have been through a lot and really do have fun when we're together. Herein lies the issue. She is an only child. Both of her parents have passed. She does not have a close family and most of them do not live in the area. I am not an only child. I still have my mom. My family is close and we all live within 20 minutes of each other.

My family considers her a part of it. She has been at all of the major life events and has a celebrated many holidays with us. We are having a cookout at my uncle's today which will prove to have many laughs and great food!!

I called her yesterday morning to invite her. The first response I got was, "Can I be a maybe?" There were a few other things thrown in there but in the end she agreed. I was pretty stoked because she really doesn't like to commit until just before the event or whatever we're doing.

The work day is almost at its end when I get a text from her....she is going to pass on tomorrow. Nothing came up she's just in a really foul mood and doesn't want to do the happy family thing. I text back that I'm sorry to hear that and I'm disappointed because we were all looking forward to seeing her and catching up with her. She responds with a thanks much...don't really care about much though.

Now, don't get me wrong, I care about her very much and don't want to see her like this. Having said that, though, this is a constant issue with her. She is always in a foul mood and is very much isolating herself. She is constantly depressed and will not do anything about it. We have had numerous conversations about it. All to no avail.

We both have a lot of the same things in our lives -- a house, rental properties, cars, jobs, friends, no mate. Do I get lonely and sad sometimes because I don't have a mate....absolutely! Have I learned how to deal with that in a healthy manner? Yeppers. With her her it is a constant woe is me deal and, quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing it.

I have come to the conclusion that I can only do so much. I cannot be around constant negativity. I can only listen to someone whine and bitch for so long. (Yes, that is my job but at least my clients have recognized the importance of counseling). I so badly want to tell her, yet again, that this is not healthy and that she really needs to do something about it.

That won't happen because she'll get mad and won't speak to me for a long time.....been there done that routine.

In the meantime, I'll be patient and pray that she gets what she needs to help her with this. I will also pray that she finds some happiness in her life. I could not imagine living without happiness.

Good morning, Sunshine! It's a beautiful day. Rejoice and be glad in it!

Good vs. Evil -- Good always prevails!

When all is said and done, all you really have is yourself. What does this mean? I don't know. I was just catching up on some of the blogs that I have been neglecting over the past weeks and decided to "post a new" one and see what comes out of my typing. So, this is it.............

Life has thrown some curve balls at me as of late. I've been doing a lot of thinking about work and the people that I work with. I often wonder why those "in power" make the decisions that they do. These decisions seem to go against every bit of common sense and business sense. They hire people who are really horrible workers. They get rid of those workers who are wonderful. They do not follow any pattern with running some of the programs.

I think this all stems from an incident that happened two Fridays ago. A good friend of mine was let go. Now, you may think, "it's a shame, wonder why, must have deserved it...." or any combination of those thoughts. Well...yes, it is a shame because the only thing that I can see he did was stick up for his supervisees and refuse to be the company puppet.

It's a weird dynamic. I happen to be one of those people who speaks to everyone. It's just the way I am. So is he. Naturally, we hit it off and became good friends. I would trust him with anything and everything. Well, it just so happens that the Vice President of his division does not like me. I have NO idea why. I have never done anything to her but be nice and do what she asks of me....not that it's been that much. It's very obvious that she has it in for me...I think she thinks that I don't know what she's doing....SURPRISE....I'm not that silly.

So, he goes and I get an email from my former supervisor that she needs to speak with me about appropriate/inappropriate sharing of information. See, immediately, both she and the VP jumped to the conclusion that I told everyone he was fired. I did not and vehemently told her that I didn't when I met with her on Monday morning. She asked who did and I said that I didn't know. (there's more to the story but it's not too relevant)

Fast forward to a few hours later. I find out that in their division meeting, the VP -- in front of all of her minions -- tried to throw me under the bus and accuse me of telling confidential information. Oh, to have been a fly on the wall when she was told -- in front of all of her minions -- that it wasn't me!!!

Which brings me to the issue of forgiveness. I remember someone saying to me that forgiveness isn't for the offending person but for the offendee. In other words, it's not for them, it's for you. So, I have chosen to forgive her for her blatant disregard of my feelings. I have chosen to forgive her for trying to make me look bad. I have chosen to forgive her for all of her negativity towards me. I have chosen to forgive both of them for not apologizing or admitting they were wrong. Will I forget? No.

I am very careful of what I say, to whom I say it, and my actions. I was glad that it was revealed that I was not the one who leaked the info. It just goes to show...when all is said and done, you only have yourself to trust and to be true to. Karma is a bitch....I'm glad she got what was coming to her and I hope that if she ever jumps to another conclusion that it backfires on her just as this one did.