It's 2 am and I'm sitting in front of the computer with a box of tissues and a trash can full of used ones. My nose is sore and it's beet red. I've been battling this cold/allergy attack thing for a week. It's been so bad that I had to reschedule my clients.
I really stink at being sick. Most people would let the illness run its course and just take it easy. Nope, not me. I feel like I should be doing stuff and that the world will collapse if I'm out of touch for a few days. What's that all about? I'm not THAT important!
I think I'll take some more sinus medicine and hope that I can get some sleep before the alarm goes off in 4 hours for me to get myself to work. Hopefully I'll feel better and will be able to last the entire day..........
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
How Great Thou Art? I think not
I am totally beside myself right now. As I was cooking dinner, my ex-husband called. He said he wanted to talk to me about something. Oh, geez, here we go. So, before he starts his story, he asks, "Are you sitting down?" I hate when people say that....like I'm going to faint or something. He goes on to tell me that this coming Sunday is his last Sunday at church.
Ok, back up....if you've read my entries you know the following:
1. My ex and I talk -- sometimes multiple times per day.
2. We both go to the same church (still)
3. I've been struggling with the situation in the church
4. I have not felt spiritually nurtured in quite some time.
So, I say, "WHAT?" He goes on to tell me that this Sunday's sermon was out of control. Our Pastor came down from the pulpit (she does this sometimes -- that's when we know we're "in for it") and preached "among the people." I don't remember exactly what he said she said but it was something like this:
* We come to church for the wrong reasons
* We don't worship properly
* These pews will be filled with new people, just you wait and see
* We don't put God first.
THEN, she went on to talk about the Pasta dinner we just had that raised almost $3,000 so that 7 of us could go to New Orleans in July to our National Youth Gathering. Apparently, "my" kids should have laid their request at Jesus' feet and he would have provided. EXCUSE ME??? Am I supposed to shuttle the kids to the airport and drop them off expecting that the nice people at the USAir counter will just give them a ticket because they prayed for it? Don't get me wrong, I have personally seen the miracle of God's provision and I have the ultimate faith that He will/does provide. This was our way of praying that He would provide and lo and behold, He did. Our congregation didn't have to support the dinner. Our congregation didn't have to donate items for the Silent Auction. Our congregation didn't have to do squat but they did and they did it with loving and open hearts.
By this point, I'm furious. The pasta is boiling over on the stove, the sausage is hard as a rock because I left it in the microwave too long, the ice cubes are melting.....
I told him that I was glad that I wasn't in church yesterday or else when she got to the part about the dinner and my kids, I would have stood up and said something to her. Right then and there whether she was in the middle of a sermon or not. It's one thing to insult me but don't you DARE insult one of my youth group kids. EVER!
I don't know what's going to come of this latest debacle but I do know that my ex will no longer be there. That really, really angers me....wait, no, it really, really pisses me off. He was the one who brought me into the church. He was the one who shared his faith with me. He was the one who supported me in everything I did and still do in the church.
HOW DARE SHE RIP THAT AWAY FROM ME? I am still pissed. Really pissed. I couldn't care less if I ever hear another one of her sermons again. I will still be there for the youth. I will still be there for my godson. That's it, no more, no less.
Oh Loving and Merciful God, only You know the path that you have laid out for us. We are walking this path in faith and know that you will never lead us astray. Please reach out to those who falter and fumble as they seek to follow. We know that you are with us each step of the way and are clearing the road ahead for great things to come. Show us your mercy as we experience these troubling times. Bring enlightenment to those who need it. Shower us with forgiveness so that we may forgive. Bring us peace. Amen.
Ok, back up....if you've read my entries you know the following:
1. My ex and I talk -- sometimes multiple times per day.
2. We both go to the same church (still)
3. I've been struggling with the situation in the church
4. I have not felt spiritually nurtured in quite some time.
So, I say, "WHAT?" He goes on to tell me that this Sunday's sermon was out of control. Our Pastor came down from the pulpit (she does this sometimes -- that's when we know we're "in for it") and preached "among the people." I don't remember exactly what he said she said but it was something like this:
* We come to church for the wrong reasons
* We don't worship properly
* These pews will be filled with new people, just you wait and see
* We don't put God first.
THEN, she went on to talk about the Pasta dinner we just had that raised almost $3,000 so that 7 of us could go to New Orleans in July to our National Youth Gathering. Apparently, "my" kids should have laid their request at Jesus' feet and he would have provided. EXCUSE ME??? Am I supposed to shuttle the kids to the airport and drop them off expecting that the nice people at the USAir counter will just give them a ticket because they prayed for it? Don't get me wrong, I have personally seen the miracle of God's provision and I have the ultimate faith that He will/does provide. This was our way of praying that He would provide and lo and behold, He did. Our congregation didn't have to support the dinner. Our congregation didn't have to donate items for the Silent Auction. Our congregation didn't have to do squat but they did and they did it with loving and open hearts.
By this point, I'm furious. The pasta is boiling over on the stove, the sausage is hard as a rock because I left it in the microwave too long, the ice cubes are melting.....
I told him that I was glad that I wasn't in church yesterday or else when she got to the part about the dinner and my kids, I would have stood up and said something to her. Right then and there whether she was in the middle of a sermon or not. It's one thing to insult me but don't you DARE insult one of my youth group kids. EVER!
I don't know what's going to come of this latest debacle but I do know that my ex will no longer be there. That really, really angers me....wait, no, it really, really pisses me off. He was the one who brought me into the church. He was the one who shared his faith with me. He was the one who supported me in everything I did and still do in the church.
HOW DARE SHE RIP THAT AWAY FROM ME? I am still pissed. Really pissed. I couldn't care less if I ever hear another one of her sermons again. I will still be there for the youth. I will still be there for my godson. That's it, no more, no less.
Oh Loving and Merciful God, only You know the path that you have laid out for us. We are walking this path in faith and know that you will never lead us astray. Please reach out to those who falter and fumble as they seek to follow. We know that you are with us each step of the way and are clearing the road ahead for great things to come. Show us your mercy as we experience these troubling times. Bring enlightenment to those who need it. Shower us with forgiveness so that we may forgive. Bring us peace. Amen.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Old Friends, New Friends
I've been up since the butt crack of dawn. I'm slightly hung over from a wonderful evening. It wasn't the beer that made it wonderful -- it was the people I was with.
Over the past few weeks, I have been reconnecting with former classmates (both high school and college) and really enjoying myself. My friendships have been deepening. I've taken some time to do some reflecting and have realized that I am truly blessed with wonderful people in my life. It's funny how, when you look back, you see that your friends/acquaintances are pretty much grouped. Each person's groupings are different but they all share a commonality.
My groupings are: family, high school, college, post grad, work, church, my biker friends, my WINGS friends, blogger/journal space, and some other random smaller groupings.
I think this all started with Facebook. Go figure! I have reconnected with so many of my high school classmates! I wasn't overly friendly with some of them in high school and didn't remain in touch with them afterwards. High School wasn't the best time of my life. I don't know why so that probably is one of the reasons why I didn't stay in contact or go to any of my reunions. Anyhoo...I traveled 2 hours yesterday to reconnect with one of my good friends in HS. She lives just outside of Easton, PA (cow country) with her two daughters. It was great to see her again. We picked up right where we left off!
Last night, after driving home, I went to the WINGS game with a friend of mine whom I've known for 20 years. She graduated a year after I did. Our ex husbands were friends so, naturally, we became friends and have been even through our divorces. We went to dinner with another friend. We had so much fun that I forgot what it was like to really belly laugh!
Then, at the game, we met up with another group of people who we see only during the lacrosse season. Some of our group weren't there. It amazed me that when we talked about going out to dinner before the next game to celebrate my birthday -- everyone said YES!
About two or three weeks ago, I received a friend request from a girl who I went to undergrad with. I had been looking for her for quite some time. We met for dinner and didn't stop talking for 4 hours!!!! It was wonderful and we didn't miss a beat. We fell right back into our silly antics and craziness. It felt so good!
I could go on and on about the different people in my life but, the bottom line is this: I am blessed to have such great people in my life. It's important to recognize that.
Have a wonderful day, hug your friends, say thanks, and don't forget to laugh or smile!
Over the past few weeks, I have been reconnecting with former classmates (both high school and college) and really enjoying myself. My friendships have been deepening. I've taken some time to do some reflecting and have realized that I am truly blessed with wonderful people in my life. It's funny how, when you look back, you see that your friends/acquaintances are pretty much grouped. Each person's groupings are different but they all share a commonality.
My groupings are: family, high school, college, post grad, work, church, my biker friends, my WINGS friends, blogger/journal space, and some other random smaller groupings.
I think this all started with Facebook. Go figure! I have reconnected with so many of my high school classmates! I wasn't overly friendly with some of them in high school and didn't remain in touch with them afterwards. High School wasn't the best time of my life. I don't know why so that probably is one of the reasons why I didn't stay in contact or go to any of my reunions. Anyhoo...I traveled 2 hours yesterday to reconnect with one of my good friends in HS. She lives just outside of Easton, PA (cow country) with her two daughters. It was great to see her again. We picked up right where we left off!
Last night, after driving home, I went to the WINGS game with a friend of mine whom I've known for 20 years. She graduated a year after I did. Our ex husbands were friends so, naturally, we became friends and have been even through our divorces. We went to dinner with another friend. We had so much fun that I forgot what it was like to really belly laugh!
Then, at the game, we met up with another group of people who we see only during the lacrosse season. Some of our group weren't there. It amazed me that when we talked about going out to dinner before the next game to celebrate my birthday -- everyone said YES!
About two or three weeks ago, I received a friend request from a girl who I went to undergrad with. I had been looking for her for quite some time. We met for dinner and didn't stop talking for 4 hours!!!! It was wonderful and we didn't miss a beat. We fell right back into our silly antics and craziness. It felt so good!
I could go on and on about the different people in my life but, the bottom line is this: I am blessed to have such great people in my life. It's important to recognize that.
Have a wonderful day, hug your friends, say thanks, and don't forget to laugh or smile!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
And, she's back............
I haven't been reading/posting for a while and really missed all of the antics and fun and just catching up with everyone.
Life has been quite insane as of late. So I'll start with the updates:
The Blind Date: The dude turns out to be the nephew of the friend who is trying to get us together. I don't know what to think now. I had dinner with her the other day and she never mentioned what he looked like despite my asking. red flag waves but, we shall see. She did, however, say he's very tall and not a bean pole which, in my book, is awesome. I'll keep you posted on that one.
The Ex: I have spoken to him more in the past two weeks -- almost every day and sometimes three times in a day. He's all amped up over what's going on at our church. I don't blame him -- his grandfather helped build it and he's got some serious roots there. I try to be supportive but when you have the cell phone ringing, the other phone line ringing, someone standing at your desk waiting for you to get off the phone, and an office mate who speaks loudly, sometimes it just ain't happening. He has shared some emails with me that he's written to the "higher ups" in the church -- I'm wondering when he got so witty...........he really is quite funny with what he says and he's become very introspecitve. We'll be "going away together" in a few weeks...relax, we're going on retreat -- he leads the band...so I'm sure there will be lots of together time and much to be discussed.
The job: I am privledged to say that I got a promotion at the end of January. I am not, however, privledged to say that my office will be moved. That sticks in my crawl a bit. Here I am the person who 'markets' the agency and does 'fundraising' and I'm banished to the last office furthest away from the entrance. It takes me approximately 5 - 7 minutes (talk about precise) to get to the front desk and that's if no one stops me and the elevator doesn't take its sweet time. My only hope is that who ever comes to see me, isn't in a hurry. Having said all of that, my replacement has not been hired as of yet. So you know what that means, right? YEP...I'm doing two full time jobs........... On a good note, I get to go to Dallas in April. Only for training and for two days but at least it's away from here.
The practice: Going well. Although, I had a bit of a spell with someone the other day. Here's the bottom line: One of my clients saw another therapist for a short session of a highly specialized technique. She didn't tell me. Never mentioned it. It was her grandmother who had this therapist work with her. It is her grandmother who is paying me to work with her. See where I'm going with this? Anyway, the grandmother told me what happened. Hhmm, now that explains why she was acting the way she was acting in our session. I flipped out....what right does another therapist have to work with one of my clients? He violated every ethical principle out there. What an ass...I'm still trying to decide when to confront him...I think I will when I calm down a bit. I told the grandmother that if she wanted him to work with my client on a regular basis then be my guest but I will NOT have her interfereing any longer with the work that I'm doing. What a crock of shit.................
That's enough for tonight. It's Valentine's Day and I've spent it in my jammies cuddled up under blankets relaxing. Aaaahhhhhhh............xoxo
Life has been quite insane as of late. So I'll start with the updates:
The Blind Date: The dude turns out to be the nephew of the friend who is trying to get us together. I don't know what to think now. I had dinner with her the other day and she never mentioned what he looked like despite my asking. red flag waves but, we shall see. She did, however, say he's very tall and not a bean pole which, in my book, is awesome. I'll keep you posted on that one.
The Ex: I have spoken to him more in the past two weeks -- almost every day and sometimes three times in a day. He's all amped up over what's going on at our church. I don't blame him -- his grandfather helped build it and he's got some serious roots there. I try to be supportive but when you have the cell phone ringing, the other phone line ringing, someone standing at your desk waiting for you to get off the phone, and an office mate who speaks loudly, sometimes it just ain't happening. He has shared some emails with me that he's written to the "higher ups" in the church -- I'm wondering when he got so witty...........he really is quite funny with what he says and he's become very introspecitve. We'll be "going away together" in a few weeks...relax, we're going on retreat -- he leads the band...so I'm sure there will be lots of together time and much to be discussed.
The job: I am privledged to say that I got a promotion at the end of January. I am not, however, privledged to say that my office will be moved. That sticks in my crawl a bit. Here I am the person who 'markets' the agency and does 'fundraising' and I'm banished to the last office furthest away from the entrance. It takes me approximately 5 - 7 minutes (talk about precise) to get to the front desk and that's if no one stops me and the elevator doesn't take its sweet time. My only hope is that who ever comes to see me, isn't in a hurry. Having said all of that, my replacement has not been hired as of yet. So you know what that means, right? YEP...I'm doing two full time jobs........... On a good note, I get to go to Dallas in April. Only for training and for two days but at least it's away from here.
The practice: Going well. Although, I had a bit of a spell with someone the other day. Here's the bottom line: One of my clients saw another therapist for a short session of a highly specialized technique. She didn't tell me. Never mentioned it. It was her grandmother who had this therapist work with her. It is her grandmother who is paying me to work with her. See where I'm going with this? Anyway, the grandmother told me what happened. Hhmm, now that explains why she was acting the way she was acting in our session. I flipped out....what right does another therapist have to work with one of my clients? He violated every ethical principle out there. What an ass...I'm still trying to decide when to confront him...I think I will when I calm down a bit. I told the grandmother that if she wanted him to work with my client on a regular basis then be my guest but I will NOT have her interfereing any longer with the work that I'm doing. What a crock of shit.................
That's enough for tonight. It's Valentine's Day and I've spent it in my jammies cuddled up under blankets relaxing. Aaaahhhhhhh............xoxo
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Mish Mash
Don't know where to start...no bad stuff just a lot of it.
My clients -- now that's a place to start! I saw 3 of them last night. Interestingly enough, they all are making a little progress. The first one wants to get out of the situation she's in. So, she's going to put together a plan, do a little research, keep stuff on the "dl" and I'll see her in two weeks. The second one has realized that she's lessening the turmoil in some of the areas of her life which is allowing more positive things to appear to her. I told her it was like eating a whole lot then burping. When you burp, you make room for more....she laughed...I laughed....but she got it. I did, however, feel bad for her when she left because her car wouldn't start so she ended up calling AAA who came out and put in a new battery for her. Third client is also wanting to shift gears and do something with her life. She wants out of her situation, too...so, game plan is for her to do some research and get back to me. We shall see. It's interesting how all three of these clients are in a state of transition. They all want movement. They all want to be somewhere they aren't at the moment. Are they motivated to actually do what they want? I'm not so sure but we shall see.
The job -- well, this is interesting. In a time where layoffs are imminent and things are taking a bad spin, I was promoted. That's awesome because it also came with a slight pay increase. Trust me, I am in no way complaining. The only thing is that I hate the new title. It's a new position and our CEO is totally in love with it ... "Director of Center Advancement." I have NO idea what that is or what it means. Do you? I didn't think so. Basically my job is marketing and fundraising. My current supervisor (who is a VP) says she hates it too. She said, "It's Director of who knows what the F you do." AMEN. I'm hoping that she can get him to change it. I tried. He seemed like he was dead set on it. EWWWW.
Church -- drama, drama, drama. I can't take it. I want to go to worship and not have to worry about who pissed off who or who is leaving because they're disappointed...people, GROW UP! Accept responsibility for your stuff. Open your hearts and your mind to the possibility that things aren't always what they seem. God help us.
I broke down and bought a Nintendo Wii. It was bundled with Wii Fit. I have never been into video games so have no clue about Xbox or Game Cube or whatever else is out there. But, Wii I can do. For the past two nights I have played. It's exciting not only because it's new but because I'm actually physically active. This sitting around doing nothing is killing me.
No word yet on the blind date. I really don't expect him to call. If he does, that's great. If he doesn't ...well, it's his loss. So, needless to say, the male companionship around this place is lacking. Wait, maybe I should say non-existent...yes, that's the word I was looking for. I'll keep you posted.
Gotta head to bed. I have my first 'official' new job function tomorrow. I'm nervous but I know it will go well. I also am very grateful to Bagpuss for going shopping with me after work tonight so I have something smashing to wear for my big debut.
Sweet dreams, my friends.
My clients -- now that's a place to start! I saw 3 of them last night. Interestingly enough, they all are making a little progress. The first one wants to get out of the situation she's in. So, she's going to put together a plan, do a little research, keep stuff on the "dl" and I'll see her in two weeks. The second one has realized that she's lessening the turmoil in some of the areas of her life which is allowing more positive things to appear to her. I told her it was like eating a whole lot then burping. When you burp, you make room for more....she laughed...I laughed....but she got it. I did, however, feel bad for her when she left because her car wouldn't start so she ended up calling AAA who came out and put in a new battery for her. Third client is also wanting to shift gears and do something with her life. She wants out of her situation, too...so, game plan is for her to do some research and get back to me. We shall see. It's interesting how all three of these clients are in a state of transition. They all want movement. They all want to be somewhere they aren't at the moment. Are they motivated to actually do what they want? I'm not so sure but we shall see.
The job -- well, this is interesting. In a time where layoffs are imminent and things are taking a bad spin, I was promoted. That's awesome because it also came with a slight pay increase. Trust me, I am in no way complaining. The only thing is that I hate the new title. It's a new position and our CEO is totally in love with it ... "Director of Center Advancement." I have NO idea what that is or what it means. Do you? I didn't think so. Basically my job is marketing and fundraising. My current supervisor (who is a VP) says she hates it too. She said, "It's Director of who knows what the F you do." AMEN. I'm hoping that she can get him to change it. I tried. He seemed like he was dead set on it. EWWWW.
Church -- drama, drama, drama. I can't take it. I want to go to worship and not have to worry about who pissed off who or who is leaving because they're disappointed...people, GROW UP! Accept responsibility for your stuff. Open your hearts and your mind to the possibility that things aren't always what they seem. God help us.
I broke down and bought a Nintendo Wii. It was bundled with Wii Fit. I have never been into video games so have no clue about Xbox or Game Cube or whatever else is out there. But, Wii I can do. For the past two nights I have played. It's exciting not only because it's new but because I'm actually physically active. This sitting around doing nothing is killing me.
No word yet on the blind date. I really don't expect him to call. If he does, that's great. If he doesn't ...well, it's his loss. So, needless to say, the male companionship around this place is lacking. Wait, maybe I should say non-existent...yes, that's the word I was looking for. I'll keep you posted.
Gotta head to bed. I have my first 'official' new job function tomorrow. I'm nervous but I know it will go well. I also am very grateful to Bagpuss for going shopping with me after work tonight so I have something smashing to wear for my big debut.
Sweet dreams, my friends.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Blind Date
I recently received a phone call from a long-time friend of mine. I used to be her supervisor in my former life. She is an older woman (who could be my grandma) and I have always had a great respect for her. We still keep in touch and occasionally meet for dinner. From time to time the subject of me not having a "significant other" arises. She called to ask me if I had one. When I said no, she said, "I have someone for you."
Here is how she describes him: tall, hysterically funny, high level security clearance, makes his own wine and beer. He's 44 and never been married. I am so glad she didn't say "He's got a great personality" because we all know what that means.
She said that she hasn't said anything to him yet because she wanted to see what I would say. Even though blind dates are weird and awkward, if he calls, I'm going. At least it will be a night out, right? :)
I'll keep you posted!
Here is how she describes him: tall, hysterically funny, high level security clearance, makes his own wine and beer. He's 44 and never been married. I am so glad she didn't say "He's got a great personality" because we all know what that means.
She said that she hasn't said anything to him yet because she wanted to see what I would say. Even though blind dates are weird and awkward, if he calls, I'm going. At least it will be a night out, right? :)
I'll keep you posted!
Game 1
Last night was the home opener of the Philadelphia Wings. I've had season tickets for forever and a day. I can't remember exactly when we (myself and Aud) started going but it definitely has been at least 18 years. I don't have a clue what the rules of the game are, no idea what the record is at the end of the season, no knowledge of the players. Yea, I'm a fan, right?In the beginning I sat and watched the entire game. I saw every Wings goal and every "bad guy goal." I cheered and yelled, "sucks" when they introduced the opposing team. (It's a Wings thing..you wouldn't understand). There was a group of guys who sat behind us. Eventually we got to talking to them and the rest is history. Our little group grew and now there is a whole crew of us who hang out, drink, watch the game, eat, laugh....it's great.
The season lasts from January to April. We see some of the group periodically in the 'off season.' For those we don't see until the season starts, we pick up right where we left off. So, last night, we picked up right where we left off. It was great.
I saw some of the game but was busy catching up with the gang**. I never had an empty cup the entire game -- I haven't had that much to drink in quite some time. I'm paying for it today. Ewwwww. Getting myself together to go get my hair cut today should be a big treat!
They lost the game, I ended up drunk texting, and we're going to do it all again in two weeks. Stay tuned.....the antics at the games and hanging out in the parking lot afterwards make for great blogging.
GO WINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**Our Crew:
Me
Aud
Dan
Healey (the stutterer)
Rock
Vern (married to Egg)
Egg (married to Vern)
Sharon
Diane
The Babysitters and the fiance
The kids: Cole, Jake, Justin, Jennifer
Angel (the bartender)
Various others who join us periodically
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