It's been ages since I've felt like writing......not quite sure why. Life has been hectic since my last post. I've been getting adjusted to the new position, traveling for work, remaining active with my youth group, and trying to keep tabs on the family.
One major episode of DRAMA occurred a few weeks ago. As you know, things at my church are not good. There is a group of very, very unhappy members who basically want the pastor gone. They petitioned the council to have a special congregational meeting. So, we did. It was the most uncomfortable thing I've sat through in a very long time. People were yelling at the Pastor and all she could do was defend herself. Mind you, I'm not taking sides here -- I have my issues with both sides -- but, I felt ashamed to call myself a member of that congregation. That's bad!
I, of course, being who I am, cannot side idly by and not say anything. So, in my best counselor language and affect I explained that there was a lot of hurt, etc. that I was hearing and that I was interested in how we were going to repair that and move on in a loving, Christian manner. That went over like a lead balloon. It was at that moment that I realized that this group of people will NEVER be satisfied until the pastor is gone. It was in that moment that I realized that the pastor isn't going to apologize for any of the miscommunication, hurt feelings, etc. It was in that moment that I realized we are in a REAL BAD WAY. I don't know what I'm going to do but it sure isn't going to be choosing sides. I will continue to attend (when I am motivated) and will continue to contribute financially until we either close the doors or experience a revival. I know that God has big plans for our congregation. Not sure what the big plans are but whatever it is will be amazing.
On another note...I'm looking for new office space. The place where I am now is becoming very toxic for me. No one is getting along. The owner is so focused on making money that people are falling through the cracks. The others that see clients there are booking appointments on the same nights that I'm there....and in my space.... Things are not good. I'm praying that I will find a great place which will allow me to serve my clients to the best of my ability.
Getting ready to go out with a big group of friends tonight. It's going to be a blast. We're going to Gay Bingo in Philly. It's a monthly fundraiser for AIDS Research and it's a great time. I'll definitely be blogging about it and will have some pictures as well.
Peace,
Jill
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
You Say It's Your Birthday
WOW! I turned 40 on Friday. I can't believe it.
As I look back on the past 40 years, I have discovered that I have accomplished a lot in my lifetime. I grew up, married, divorced, purchased my own home, purchased a rental property, completed my masters degree, dealt with the death of my father and step father, opened a private practice, left a few jobs and found new ones, was named employee of the year, received a promotion, reconnected with old friends, strengthened existing friendships...the list goes on and on. So I am embracing turning 40. I figure the first 40 years was the hard work and now life can truly begin! YAY ME!!!!
I have been celebrating pretty much for the past few weeks. It started with my trip to Indianapolis and continued with Happy Hour after work on Friday which turned into a night out on the town at a local bar. The celebration will continue with a family party next weekend. I have wonderful friends. Even those that I never felt especially close to came out to help me celebrate. Life is good!
So, today, I am thankful for all of my blessings. Embrace life, count your blessings, and celebrate YOU! You deserve it!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Mixed Emotions
I just arrived back home after a "two sleep" stay in Indianapolis. I traveled out there to award a scholarship in my Dad's memory. It was wonderful to see all of my dad's friends and those that I have come to know as "friend." Dad lived in Indy for almost 35 years. It was his second home. I visited so much that I began to think of it as my second home -- still do, actually.
Since he passed almost 5 years ago, I have traveled back a few times. Last year was the only year I haven't gone back since that fateful day. In the beginning, it was very difficult for me. I would drive past his old house, the RCA Dome (which isn't there anymore), the Conseco Fieldhouse, the Zoo, the hospital where he died, and the funeral home. Seeing all of these things brought back so many memories and so many emotions for me.
My dad and I had wonderful times. We laughed, we cried, we shopped, we ate, we saw the Colts and the Pacers play, we visited the Children's Museum and many other things. There was always something to do or someone to see. During the summers, my bro and I would hang out at his office. There was always an envelope that needed to be stuffed or a piece of mail that needed to be run through the postage machine. We learned a great work ethic and how to truly make a difference in someone's life.
As I got older and continued to visit, the activities were different but there was always one constant...the Children's Museum. From the time I can remember, we visited this
place. I loved it and I never got too old to go back.
This trip was different. A new airport was built and so I had to learn how to navigate it. I was used to the old one where I would see dad at the bottom of the escalator waiting for me in the baggage claim area. Even after he passed, I could still see him standing there waiting for me. Since the new airport was built, the route to the hotel was different. I didn't pass the funeral home, I didn't pass the hospital, I didn't pass the million other things I remember passing on my way to the house.
There were many memories shared about dad while I was out there. I truly miss him. He was a major part of my life. He was my rock. He was my personal comedian. He was my biggest champion. He was my protection. He was my security.
Pop, I love you with all my heart and soul. Thank you for being you and helping make me into the person I am today. I miss you.................
Since he passed almost 5 years ago, I have traveled back a few times. Last year was the only year I haven't gone back since that fateful day. In the beginning, it was very difficult for me. I would drive past his old house, the RCA Dome (which isn't there anymore), the Conseco Fieldhouse, the Zoo, the hospital where he died, and the funeral home. Seeing all of these things brought back so many memories and so many emotions for me.
My dad and I had wonderful times. We laughed, we cried, we shopped, we ate, we saw the Colts and the Pacers play, we visited the Children's Museum and many other things. There was always something to do or someone to see. During the summers, my bro and I would hang out at his office. There was always an envelope that needed to be stuffed or a piece of mail that needed to be run through the postage machine. We learned a great work ethic and how to truly make a difference in someone's life.
As I got older and continued to visit, the activities were different but there was always one constant...the Children's Museum. From the time I can remember, we visited this
place. I loved it and I never got too old to go back.This trip was different. A new airport was built and so I had to learn how to navigate it. I was used to the old one where I would see dad at the bottom of the escalator waiting for me in the baggage claim area. Even after he passed, I could still see him standing there waiting for me. Since the new airport was built, the route to the hotel was different. I didn't pass the funeral home, I didn't pass the hospital, I didn't pass the million other things I remember passing on my way to the house.
There were many memories shared about dad while I was out there. I truly miss him. He was a major part of my life. He was my rock. He was my personal comedian. He was my biggest champion. He was my protection. He was my security.
Pop, I love you with all my heart and soul. Thank you for being you and helping make me into the person I am today. I miss you.................
Monday, March 9, 2009
What Would You Do If I Sang Out of Tune?
I woke up this morning with that running through my head. I spent the weekend on a youth retreat. It was awesome but, for some reason, this year was more tiring than other years. I wonder if it's because I'm getting older or because I wasn't feeling well or because "my" kids were testing every limit they could. I don't know. Regardless, it was a great weekend filled with some awesome conversations and lots of laughter.
Our theme was "God Is Using You...Your Story, My Story, God's Story." We had three speakers who all told their stories. The first speaker was my ex. He was wonderful. He told the story of how he truly came to know that God lives in his heart. The reason that God was "plunged" deep in his heart had to do with the death of his mother. As he was telling this story I relived every moment of it. You see, I was there the day he got the call. I was the one who saw him at what was probably the darkest moment in his life. I was the one who was there to help him through. So, of course, I was crying like a baby while he was sharing all of this. He never mentioned my name (which was great) or that I was with him because he didn't want to confuse everyone.....and he told me that up front and I was okay with it.
The second speaker was someone that I watched grow up on retreat. I first knew of him when he was in 6th grade. He really didn't "stand out" all that much. As the years progressed, I saw him grow in his faith. Once he graduated high school, he and I worked together as he developed a youth program at his church. Over the years, I have watched his path zig and zag, I have watched him be tested, and I have watched his successes. He relayed the story of his life. Where the calling on his heart had taken him. It was a truly remarkable story. I was so proud because I was a part of his journey and I continue to be.
The third speaker was a Pastor. She is a really neat person. I don't know her that well but her story was awesome. She relayed the story of how she heard her calling to ministry.
After the speakers and the programming was finished, it was time for fellowship. The adults hang out and chat and the kids do what they do. We laugh hysterically and have a great time. I live for these moments......this was the start of a million and one quotes that will live forever. It's funny how you hear what someone says and it wasn't at all what they said. Eric said, "Put it in your room dot com." Here's what I heard, "Put it in your room Ty Cobb." WOW. This picture speaks volumes.....it's me wearing a youth event shirt that says, "Sin Boldly." The magazines are all about brewing your own beer. Go figure. :)
Overall, the weekend was great. I guess you're wondering where the title of this blog came from? Well, this is one of the songs that was played. It truly sums up the most important theme: FRIENDS. We must have them to get through the rough times in our lives. We must have them to celebrate with us. The most important "friend" we have is God. He lives in us and through us. He is a part of everything we do and he has written our story. What is your story?
Monday, March 2, 2009
Super Sweet 16
It's early in the morning and I have a snow day today. Tired of watching all the hype about the "thunder snow" I was flipping through the tv channels and landed on Mtv and their Sweet 16 show. If you've never watched this show, it's a reality type show about turning 16 and throwing the "dopest party EVER." The birthday girls (there has only been 1 boy) plan this bash and don't even think about how much it is costing. They plan their themes, grand entrances, costume changes, and performers. It really is outrageous. Oh, and I failed to mention that at the end of the party they always get a car. And not just any car -- we're talking tricked out BMW's, Mercedes, Hummers, you name it.
So this episode today was about a girl named "Sky" who wanted her party to be Moulin Rouge. She wanted to see the real one so her mother took her to Paris. Then they went car shopping at the local Mercedes dealer. Sky wanted the car in hot pink -- they don't make a Benz in hot pink so she wasn't happy. Mom ended up giving her a hot pink mustang. I could go on and on about the ridiculousness that I saw.
It got me thinking about the values some children are being raised with. I don't understand the obsession with all of the material stuff. If you could just see some of these homes the birthday girls live in -- they're huge and filled with flat screen tvs, pools, pool tables, cars........... They have this sense of "entitlement" and are spoiled rotten!
What happened to playing kick the can with the neighborhood kids and eating mac 'n cheese? What happened to doing chores and cleaning up after yourself? What happened to basic cable and atari? What happened to walkman's and walking to school?
Maybe I'm getting old...but, seriously, I see all of the stuff that kids have today (including my own nieces and nephew) and I'm amazed. What will their children want? Will they grow up to appreciate all they have?
I was raised to respect myself, respect others, and accept responsibility for my actions. I wonder if kids today are being raised this way. I was raised with love and mom instilled a sense of independence and appreciation in me. We were disciplined when necessary (mom had a stash of wooden spoons) and we learned from our mistakes.
I can only hope that these Sweet 16's will grow up to be productive members of society and lose their sense of entitlement.
So this episode today was about a girl named "Sky" who wanted her party to be Moulin Rouge. She wanted to see the real one so her mother took her to Paris. Then they went car shopping at the local Mercedes dealer. Sky wanted the car in hot pink -- they don't make a Benz in hot pink so she wasn't happy. Mom ended up giving her a hot pink mustang. I could go on and on about the ridiculousness that I saw.
It got me thinking about the values some children are being raised with. I don't understand the obsession with all of the material stuff. If you could just see some of these homes the birthday girls live in -- they're huge and filled with flat screen tvs, pools, pool tables, cars........... They have this sense of "entitlement" and are spoiled rotten!
What happened to playing kick the can with the neighborhood kids and eating mac 'n cheese? What happened to doing chores and cleaning up after yourself? What happened to basic cable and atari? What happened to walkman's and walking to school?
Maybe I'm getting old...but, seriously, I see all of the stuff that kids have today (including my own nieces and nephew) and I'm amazed. What will their children want? Will they grow up to appreciate all they have?
I was raised to respect myself, respect others, and accept responsibility for my actions. I wonder if kids today are being raised this way. I was raised with love and mom instilled a sense of independence and appreciation in me. We were disciplined when necessary (mom had a stash of wooden spoons) and we learned from our mistakes.
I can only hope that these Sweet 16's will grow up to be productive members of society and lose their sense of entitlement.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Rudolph Anyone?
It's 2 am and I'm sitting in front of the computer with a box of tissues and a trash can full of used ones. My nose is sore and it's beet red. I've been battling this cold/allergy attack thing for a week. It's been so bad that I had to reschedule my clients.
I really stink at being sick. Most people would let the illness run its course and just take it easy. Nope, not me. I feel like I should be doing stuff and that the world will collapse if I'm out of touch for a few days. What's that all about? I'm not THAT important!
I think I'll take some more sinus medicine and hope that I can get some sleep before the alarm goes off in 4 hours for me to get myself to work. Hopefully I'll feel better and will be able to last the entire day..........
I really stink at being sick. Most people would let the illness run its course and just take it easy. Nope, not me. I feel like I should be doing stuff and that the world will collapse if I'm out of touch for a few days. What's that all about? I'm not THAT important!
I think I'll take some more sinus medicine and hope that I can get some sleep before the alarm goes off in 4 hours for me to get myself to work. Hopefully I'll feel better and will be able to last the entire day..........
Monday, February 23, 2009
How Great Thou Art? I think not
I am totally beside myself right now. As I was cooking dinner, my ex-husband called. He said he wanted to talk to me about something. Oh, geez, here we go. So, before he starts his story, he asks, "Are you sitting down?" I hate when people say that....like I'm going to faint or something. He goes on to tell me that this coming Sunday is his last Sunday at church.
Ok, back up....if you've read my entries you know the following:
1. My ex and I talk -- sometimes multiple times per day.
2. We both go to the same church (still)
3. I've been struggling with the situation in the church
4. I have not felt spiritually nurtured in quite some time.
So, I say, "WHAT?" He goes on to tell me that this Sunday's sermon was out of control. Our Pastor came down from the pulpit (she does this sometimes -- that's when we know we're "in for it") and preached "among the people." I don't remember exactly what he said she said but it was something like this:
* We come to church for the wrong reasons
* We don't worship properly
* These pews will be filled with new people, just you wait and see
* We don't put God first.
THEN, she went on to talk about the Pasta dinner we just had that raised almost $3,000 so that 7 of us could go to New Orleans in July to our National Youth Gathering. Apparently, "my" kids should have laid their request at Jesus' feet and he would have provided. EXCUSE ME??? Am I supposed to shuttle the kids to the airport and drop them off expecting that the nice people at the USAir counter will just give them a ticket because they prayed for it? Don't get me wrong, I have personally seen the miracle of God's provision and I have the ultimate faith that He will/does provide. This was our way of praying that He would provide and lo and behold, He did. Our congregation didn't have to support the dinner. Our congregation didn't have to donate items for the Silent Auction. Our congregation didn't have to do squat but they did and they did it with loving and open hearts.
By this point, I'm furious. The pasta is boiling over on the stove, the sausage is hard as a rock because I left it in the microwave too long, the ice cubes are melting.....
I told him that I was glad that I wasn't in church yesterday or else when she got to the part about the dinner and my kids, I would have stood up and said something to her. Right then and there whether she was in the middle of a sermon or not. It's one thing to insult me but don't you DARE insult one of my youth group kids. EVER!
I don't know what's going to come of this latest debacle but I do know that my ex will no longer be there. That really, really angers me....wait, no, it really, really pisses me off. He was the one who brought me into the church. He was the one who shared his faith with me. He was the one who supported me in everything I did and still do in the church.
HOW DARE SHE RIP THAT AWAY FROM ME? I am still pissed. Really pissed. I couldn't care less if I ever hear another one of her sermons again. I will still be there for the youth. I will still be there for my godson. That's it, no more, no less.
Oh Loving and Merciful God, only You know the path that you have laid out for us. We are walking this path in faith and know that you will never lead us astray. Please reach out to those who falter and fumble as they seek to follow. We know that you are with us each step of the way and are clearing the road ahead for great things to come. Show us your mercy as we experience these troubling times. Bring enlightenment to those who need it. Shower us with forgiveness so that we may forgive. Bring us peace. Amen.
Ok, back up....if you've read my entries you know the following:
1. My ex and I talk -- sometimes multiple times per day.
2. We both go to the same church (still)
3. I've been struggling with the situation in the church
4. I have not felt spiritually nurtured in quite some time.
So, I say, "WHAT?" He goes on to tell me that this Sunday's sermon was out of control. Our Pastor came down from the pulpit (she does this sometimes -- that's when we know we're "in for it") and preached "among the people." I don't remember exactly what he said she said but it was something like this:
* We come to church for the wrong reasons
* We don't worship properly
* These pews will be filled with new people, just you wait and see
* We don't put God first.
THEN, she went on to talk about the Pasta dinner we just had that raised almost $3,000 so that 7 of us could go to New Orleans in July to our National Youth Gathering. Apparently, "my" kids should have laid their request at Jesus' feet and he would have provided. EXCUSE ME??? Am I supposed to shuttle the kids to the airport and drop them off expecting that the nice people at the USAir counter will just give them a ticket because they prayed for it? Don't get me wrong, I have personally seen the miracle of God's provision and I have the ultimate faith that He will/does provide. This was our way of praying that He would provide and lo and behold, He did. Our congregation didn't have to support the dinner. Our congregation didn't have to donate items for the Silent Auction. Our congregation didn't have to do squat but they did and they did it with loving and open hearts.
By this point, I'm furious. The pasta is boiling over on the stove, the sausage is hard as a rock because I left it in the microwave too long, the ice cubes are melting.....
I told him that I was glad that I wasn't in church yesterday or else when she got to the part about the dinner and my kids, I would have stood up and said something to her. Right then and there whether she was in the middle of a sermon or not. It's one thing to insult me but don't you DARE insult one of my youth group kids. EVER!
I don't know what's going to come of this latest debacle but I do know that my ex will no longer be there. That really, really angers me....wait, no, it really, really pisses me off. He was the one who brought me into the church. He was the one who shared his faith with me. He was the one who supported me in everything I did and still do in the church.
HOW DARE SHE RIP THAT AWAY FROM ME? I am still pissed. Really pissed. I couldn't care less if I ever hear another one of her sermons again. I will still be there for the youth. I will still be there for my godson. That's it, no more, no less.
Oh Loving and Merciful God, only You know the path that you have laid out for us. We are walking this path in faith and know that you will never lead us astray. Please reach out to those who falter and fumble as they seek to follow. We know that you are with us each step of the way and are clearing the road ahead for great things to come. Show us your mercy as we experience these troubling times. Bring enlightenment to those who need it. Shower us with forgiveness so that we may forgive. Bring us peace. Amen.
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