I am no longer a race virgin. Tonight I went with my friend to watch her husband race. I had a blast! It was loud. I loved it! He races a 600 which, for someone who has no concept of motors (like me) doesn't mean anything. The only thing I do know is that they go pretty fast. I really enjoyed that each heat went quickly which was great for me since I have the attention span of a gnat.
Aside from the race cars and the actual race, I may have enjoyed the people more. The track is located in a part of New Jersey that isn't known for being high class -- if you catch my drift. Between tight jeans, tight shirts, over bleached hair and women that looked like men, I was quite entertained.
The evening did not end with a win for my friend's husband. He started off 10th and soon moved into 8th place. He was gaining quickly on the lead car. I was enthralled. The engines were roaring and kicking up dust. The mosquitos had finally decided that we were not good eating and were leaving us alone. All was good. UNTIL....................we see him slowing down and pulling off to the side...right in front of where we were sitting. The yellow flag waved. The other drivers slowed down. The quads came flying out on to the track and the next thing you know, he's being towed off. It looked like the rear axle broke. The wheel was dangling -- never a good sign. It was the first race he didn't finish.
I'm going back. Hopefully next time he'll finish and finish in 1st place.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
HI! Remember Me?
That's really what I feel like at the moment....a good friend of mine reminded me that I haven't written in quite some time. There has been so much going on in my life since my last post that I don't know where to start. In a nutshell:
Church is worse. We had a grand total of 40 people at our Easter Service -- we used to have over 200.
Job is good. Lots of drama and people getting thrown under the bus. I keep my nose clean and don't venture far from my space. I do my job and that's that! :)
Practice is okay. Way more drama than I'd like to experience. SSDD. The owner is still very scattered. So scattered that she is creating more of a mess than she realizes. Again, I keep to myself, do my thing, and leave. I don't socialize with them, speak to them outside of the office unless it's important, don't email them, don't write on their facebook walls....
I really need to find new space. It's so bad that one of my clients won't go back into that building -- I have to meet her somewhere else now. Guess you should know that she was our receptionist who happens to be the daughter of one of the massage therapists who happens to be good friends with the owner. See where I'm going with this??? It's a stinking nightmare.
I had to "fire" my first client last week. I guess fire isn't the right word -- maybe I should say that I referred him to a higher level of care. Yes, that's it. So, here's the bottom line: ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT!! Background: male, early 50's, recently divorced after 30+ yrs married, part time work, lives alone. OK, I say, I can do this. First real contact was on the phone because we had lost electricity in the office on the night of our first appt. He lets a lot out. Sounds pretty coherent. I mail him the paperwork and schedule to see him the following week.
The following week comes, he's in the parking lot with the radio blasting, filling out the paperwork and doesn't hear me beeping at him. (red flag #1) We sit down to start the session and I'm going over the paperwork which he still hasn't finished. He is all over the place. Can't sit still. Mumbles his words. Breaks down crying. Drinks his Pepsi so fast I think he's gonna explode from the pent up carbonation. At this point, I take a look at the paperwork -- he checks "never" for alcohol use. (red flag #2) You can't tell me that you have NEVER even sipped alcohol before. Nope he says. OK I say.
Third session: I was with a client and he shows up for his time. The owner sends him over to the bar to use the restroom -- they were both occupied at the time. He comes back and I happen to be in the waiting area and see him in his car. He puts his hand to his mouth then checks his nose in the rear view mirror. Gives it the old "wipearoo" like he was brushing a piece of lint off and decides to come in. (red flag #3). While he's in the office he's sniffing to beat the band! {I know you know where this is going, right?}
The next two sessions were more of the same. Intersperse many voice mail messages left in a mumbling, low voice. "I'm not doing good, etc." It was at that point that I know I can no longer meet his needs and I have to do something. Lo and behold, I find out that he was arrested for stalking and harassing his ex wife. He was also charged with a hit and run from the night before. His blood alcohol level was .25 -- and this was 7:00 in the morning. CONFIRMED! He's got a substance abuse problem. So I have to now make the call to refer him to a place where he can get the treatment he needs and deserves. The conversation doesn't go well. He is pissed (as I knew he would be), sad, belligerent, and crying. I tell him that he can come back once he has it in writing that he has done his rehab.
That was one of the hardest things I have done. I felt guilty. I felt bad. I felt a million different feelings but realized that I was doing the professional and ethical thing. I was being humane and offering him help for his problems. I don't know what's happened to him since our conversation last week. I hope and pray that he was able to make that call and get the help he needed. I can only hope that one day I will find out that he is okay.
And that, my friends, is only the tip of the iceberg.....................more later.
Thanks for reading this far. Peace!
Church is worse. We had a grand total of 40 people at our Easter Service -- we used to have over 200.
Job is good. Lots of drama and people getting thrown under the bus. I keep my nose clean and don't venture far from my space. I do my job and that's that! :)
Practice is okay. Way more drama than I'd like to experience. SSDD. The owner is still very scattered. So scattered that she is creating more of a mess than she realizes. Again, I keep to myself, do my thing, and leave. I don't socialize with them, speak to them outside of the office unless it's important, don't email them, don't write on their facebook walls....
I really need to find new space. It's so bad that one of my clients won't go back into that building -- I have to meet her somewhere else now. Guess you should know that she was our receptionist who happens to be the daughter of one of the massage therapists who happens to be good friends with the owner. See where I'm going with this??? It's a stinking nightmare.
I had to "fire" my first client last week. I guess fire isn't the right word -- maybe I should say that I referred him to a higher level of care. Yes, that's it. So, here's the bottom line: ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT!! Background: male, early 50's, recently divorced after 30+ yrs married, part time work, lives alone. OK, I say, I can do this. First real contact was on the phone because we had lost electricity in the office on the night of our first appt. He lets a lot out. Sounds pretty coherent. I mail him the paperwork and schedule to see him the following week.
The following week comes, he's in the parking lot with the radio blasting, filling out the paperwork and doesn't hear me beeping at him. (red flag #1) We sit down to start the session and I'm going over the paperwork which he still hasn't finished. He is all over the place. Can't sit still. Mumbles his words. Breaks down crying. Drinks his Pepsi so fast I think he's gonna explode from the pent up carbonation. At this point, I take a look at the paperwork -- he checks "never" for alcohol use. (red flag #2) You can't tell me that you have NEVER even sipped alcohol before. Nope he says. OK I say.
Third session: I was with a client and he shows up for his time. The owner sends him over to the bar to use the restroom -- they were both occupied at the time. He comes back and I happen to be in the waiting area and see him in his car. He puts his hand to his mouth then checks his nose in the rear view mirror. Gives it the old "wipearoo" like he was brushing a piece of lint off and decides to come in. (red flag #3). While he's in the office he's sniffing to beat the band! {I know you know where this is going, right?}
The next two sessions were more of the same. Intersperse many voice mail messages left in a mumbling, low voice. "I'm not doing good, etc." It was at that point that I know I can no longer meet his needs and I have to do something. Lo and behold, I find out that he was arrested for stalking and harassing his ex wife. He was also charged with a hit and run from the night before. His blood alcohol level was .25 -- and this was 7:00 in the morning. CONFIRMED! He's got a substance abuse problem. So I have to now make the call to refer him to a place where he can get the treatment he needs and deserves. The conversation doesn't go well. He is pissed (as I knew he would be), sad, belligerent, and crying. I tell him that he can come back once he has it in writing that he has done his rehab.
That was one of the hardest things I have done. I felt guilty. I felt bad. I felt a million different feelings but realized that I was doing the professional and ethical thing. I was being humane and offering him help for his problems. I don't know what's happened to him since our conversation last week. I hope and pray that he was able to make that call and get the help he needed. I can only hope that one day I will find out that he is okay.
And that, my friends, is only the tip of the iceberg.....................more later.
Thanks for reading this far. Peace!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Been A Long Time
It's been ages since I've felt like writing......not quite sure why. Life has been hectic since my last post. I've been getting adjusted to the new position, traveling for work, remaining active with my youth group, and trying to keep tabs on the family.
One major episode of DRAMA occurred a few weeks ago. As you know, things at my church are not good. There is a group of very, very unhappy members who basically want the pastor gone. They petitioned the council to have a special congregational meeting. So, we did. It was the most uncomfortable thing I've sat through in a very long time. People were yelling at the Pastor and all she could do was defend herself. Mind you, I'm not taking sides here -- I have my issues with both sides -- but, I felt ashamed to call myself a member of that congregation. That's bad!
I, of course, being who I am, cannot side idly by and not say anything. So, in my best counselor language and affect I explained that there was a lot of hurt, etc. that I was hearing and that I was interested in how we were going to repair that and move on in a loving, Christian manner. That went over like a lead balloon. It was at that moment that I realized that this group of people will NEVER be satisfied until the pastor is gone. It was in that moment that I realized that the pastor isn't going to apologize for any of the miscommunication, hurt feelings, etc. It was in that moment that I realized we are in a REAL BAD WAY. I don't know what I'm going to do but it sure isn't going to be choosing sides. I will continue to attend (when I am motivated) and will continue to contribute financially until we either close the doors or experience a revival. I know that God has big plans for our congregation. Not sure what the big plans are but whatever it is will be amazing.
On another note...I'm looking for new office space. The place where I am now is becoming very toxic for me. No one is getting along. The owner is so focused on making money that people are falling through the cracks. The others that see clients there are booking appointments on the same nights that I'm there....and in my space.... Things are not good. I'm praying that I will find a great place which will allow me to serve my clients to the best of my ability.
Getting ready to go out with a big group of friends tonight. It's going to be a blast. We're going to Gay Bingo in Philly. It's a monthly fundraiser for AIDS Research and it's a great time. I'll definitely be blogging about it and will have some pictures as well.
Peace,
Jill
One major episode of DRAMA occurred a few weeks ago. As you know, things at my church are not good. There is a group of very, very unhappy members who basically want the pastor gone. They petitioned the council to have a special congregational meeting. So, we did. It was the most uncomfortable thing I've sat through in a very long time. People were yelling at the Pastor and all she could do was defend herself. Mind you, I'm not taking sides here -- I have my issues with both sides -- but, I felt ashamed to call myself a member of that congregation. That's bad!
I, of course, being who I am, cannot side idly by and not say anything. So, in my best counselor language and affect I explained that there was a lot of hurt, etc. that I was hearing and that I was interested in how we were going to repair that and move on in a loving, Christian manner. That went over like a lead balloon. It was at that moment that I realized that this group of people will NEVER be satisfied until the pastor is gone. It was in that moment that I realized that the pastor isn't going to apologize for any of the miscommunication, hurt feelings, etc. It was in that moment that I realized we are in a REAL BAD WAY. I don't know what I'm going to do but it sure isn't going to be choosing sides. I will continue to attend (when I am motivated) and will continue to contribute financially until we either close the doors or experience a revival. I know that God has big plans for our congregation. Not sure what the big plans are but whatever it is will be amazing.
On another note...I'm looking for new office space. The place where I am now is becoming very toxic for me. No one is getting along. The owner is so focused on making money that people are falling through the cracks. The others that see clients there are booking appointments on the same nights that I'm there....and in my space.... Things are not good. I'm praying that I will find a great place which will allow me to serve my clients to the best of my ability.
Getting ready to go out with a big group of friends tonight. It's going to be a blast. We're going to Gay Bingo in Philly. It's a monthly fundraiser for AIDS Research and it's a great time. I'll definitely be blogging about it and will have some pictures as well.
Peace,
Jill
Sunday, March 22, 2009
You Say It's Your Birthday
WOW! I turned 40 on Friday. I can't believe it.
As I look back on the past 40 years, I have discovered that I have accomplished a lot in my lifetime. I grew up, married, divorced, purchased my own home, purchased a rental property, completed my masters degree, dealt with the death of my father and step father, opened a private practice, left a few jobs and found new ones, was named employee of the year, received a promotion, reconnected with old friends, strengthened existing friendships...the list goes on and on. So I am embracing turning 40. I figure the first 40 years was the hard work and now life can truly begin! YAY ME!!!!
I have been celebrating pretty much for the past few weeks. It started with my trip to Indianapolis and continued with Happy Hour after work on Friday which turned into a night out on the town at a local bar. The celebration will continue with a family party next weekend. I have wonderful friends. Even those that I never felt especially close to came out to help me celebrate. Life is good!
So, today, I am thankful for all of my blessings. Embrace life, count your blessings, and celebrate YOU! You deserve it!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Mixed Emotions
I just arrived back home after a "two sleep" stay in Indianapolis. I traveled out there to award a scholarship in my Dad's memory. It was wonderful to see all of my dad's friends and those that I have come to know as "friend." Dad lived in Indy for almost 35 years. It was his second home. I visited so much that I began to think of it as my second home -- still do, actually.
Since he passed almost 5 years ago, I have traveled back a few times. Last year was the only year I haven't gone back since that fateful day. In the beginning, it was very difficult for me. I would drive past his old house, the RCA Dome (which isn't there anymore), the Conseco Fieldhouse, the Zoo, the hospital where he died, and the funeral home. Seeing all of these things brought back so many memories and so many emotions for me.
My dad and I had wonderful times. We laughed, we cried, we shopped, we ate, we saw the Colts and the Pacers play, we visited the Children's Museum and many other things. There was always something to do or someone to see. During the summers, my bro and I would hang out at his office. There was always an envelope that needed to be stuffed or a piece of mail that needed to be run through the postage machine. We learned a great work ethic and how to truly make a difference in someone's life.
As I got older and continued to visit, the activities were different but there was always one constant...the Children's Museum. From the time I can remember, we visited this
place. I loved it and I never got too old to go back.
This trip was different. A new airport was built and so I had to learn how to navigate it. I was used to the old one where I would see dad at the bottom of the escalator waiting for me in the baggage claim area. Even after he passed, I could still see him standing there waiting for me. Since the new airport was built, the route to the hotel was different. I didn't pass the funeral home, I didn't pass the hospital, I didn't pass the million other things I remember passing on my way to the house.
There were many memories shared about dad while I was out there. I truly miss him. He was a major part of my life. He was my rock. He was my personal comedian. He was my biggest champion. He was my protection. He was my security.
Pop, I love you with all my heart and soul. Thank you for being you and helping make me into the person I am today. I miss you.................
Since he passed almost 5 years ago, I have traveled back a few times. Last year was the only year I haven't gone back since that fateful day. In the beginning, it was very difficult for me. I would drive past his old house, the RCA Dome (which isn't there anymore), the Conseco Fieldhouse, the Zoo, the hospital where he died, and the funeral home. Seeing all of these things brought back so many memories and so many emotions for me.
My dad and I had wonderful times. We laughed, we cried, we shopped, we ate, we saw the Colts and the Pacers play, we visited the Children's Museum and many other things. There was always something to do or someone to see. During the summers, my bro and I would hang out at his office. There was always an envelope that needed to be stuffed or a piece of mail that needed to be run through the postage machine. We learned a great work ethic and how to truly make a difference in someone's life.
As I got older and continued to visit, the activities were different but there was always one constant...the Children's Museum. From the time I can remember, we visited this
place. I loved it and I never got too old to go back.This trip was different. A new airport was built and so I had to learn how to navigate it. I was used to the old one where I would see dad at the bottom of the escalator waiting for me in the baggage claim area. Even after he passed, I could still see him standing there waiting for me. Since the new airport was built, the route to the hotel was different. I didn't pass the funeral home, I didn't pass the hospital, I didn't pass the million other things I remember passing on my way to the house.
There were many memories shared about dad while I was out there. I truly miss him. He was a major part of my life. He was my rock. He was my personal comedian. He was my biggest champion. He was my protection. He was my security.
Pop, I love you with all my heart and soul. Thank you for being you and helping make me into the person I am today. I miss you.................
Monday, March 9, 2009
What Would You Do If I Sang Out of Tune?
I woke up this morning with that running through my head. I spent the weekend on a youth retreat. It was awesome but, for some reason, this year was more tiring than other years. I wonder if it's because I'm getting older or because I wasn't feeling well or because "my" kids were testing every limit they could. I don't know. Regardless, it was a great weekend filled with some awesome conversations and lots of laughter.
Our theme was "God Is Using You...Your Story, My Story, God's Story." We had three speakers who all told their stories. The first speaker was my ex. He was wonderful. He told the story of how he truly came to know that God lives in his heart. The reason that God was "plunged" deep in his heart had to do with the death of his mother. As he was telling this story I relived every moment of it. You see, I was there the day he got the call. I was the one who saw him at what was probably the darkest moment in his life. I was the one who was there to help him through. So, of course, I was crying like a baby while he was sharing all of this. He never mentioned my name (which was great) or that I was with him because he didn't want to confuse everyone.....and he told me that up front and I was okay with it.
The second speaker was someone that I watched grow up on retreat. I first knew of him when he was in 6th grade. He really didn't "stand out" all that much. As the years progressed, I saw him grow in his faith. Once he graduated high school, he and I worked together as he developed a youth program at his church. Over the years, I have watched his path zig and zag, I have watched him be tested, and I have watched his successes. He relayed the story of his life. Where the calling on his heart had taken him. It was a truly remarkable story. I was so proud because I was a part of his journey and I continue to be.
The third speaker was a Pastor. She is a really neat person. I don't know her that well but her story was awesome. She relayed the story of how she heard her calling to ministry.
After the speakers and the programming was finished, it was time for fellowship. The adults hang out and chat and the kids do what they do. We laugh hysterically and have a great time. I live for these moments......this was the start of a million and one quotes that will live forever. It's funny how you hear what someone says and it wasn't at all what they said. Eric said, "Put it in your room dot com." Here's what I heard, "Put it in your room Ty Cobb." WOW. This picture speaks volumes.....it's me wearing a youth event shirt that says, "Sin Boldly." The magazines are all about brewing your own beer. Go figure. :)
Overall, the weekend was great. I guess you're wondering where the title of this blog came from? Well, this is one of the songs that was played. It truly sums up the most important theme: FRIENDS. We must have them to get through the rough times in our lives. We must have them to celebrate with us. The most important "friend" we have is God. He lives in us and through us. He is a part of everything we do and he has written our story. What is your story?
Monday, March 2, 2009
Super Sweet 16
It's early in the morning and I have a snow day today. Tired of watching all the hype about the "thunder snow" I was flipping through the tv channels and landed on Mtv and their Sweet 16 show. If you've never watched this show, it's a reality type show about turning 16 and throwing the "dopest party EVER." The birthday girls (there has only been 1 boy) plan this bash and don't even think about how much it is costing. They plan their themes, grand entrances, costume changes, and performers. It really is outrageous. Oh, and I failed to mention that at the end of the party they always get a car. And not just any car -- we're talking tricked out BMW's, Mercedes, Hummers, you name it.
So this episode today was about a girl named "Sky" who wanted her party to be Moulin Rouge. She wanted to see the real one so her mother took her to Paris. Then they went car shopping at the local Mercedes dealer. Sky wanted the car in hot pink -- they don't make a Benz in hot pink so she wasn't happy. Mom ended up giving her a hot pink mustang. I could go on and on about the ridiculousness that I saw.
It got me thinking about the values some children are being raised with. I don't understand the obsession with all of the material stuff. If you could just see some of these homes the birthday girls live in -- they're huge and filled with flat screen tvs, pools, pool tables, cars........... They have this sense of "entitlement" and are spoiled rotten!
What happened to playing kick the can with the neighborhood kids and eating mac 'n cheese? What happened to doing chores and cleaning up after yourself? What happened to basic cable and atari? What happened to walkman's and walking to school?
Maybe I'm getting old...but, seriously, I see all of the stuff that kids have today (including my own nieces and nephew) and I'm amazed. What will their children want? Will they grow up to appreciate all they have?
I was raised to respect myself, respect others, and accept responsibility for my actions. I wonder if kids today are being raised this way. I was raised with love and mom instilled a sense of independence and appreciation in me. We were disciplined when necessary (mom had a stash of wooden spoons) and we learned from our mistakes.
I can only hope that these Sweet 16's will grow up to be productive members of society and lose their sense of entitlement.
So this episode today was about a girl named "Sky" who wanted her party to be Moulin Rouge. She wanted to see the real one so her mother took her to Paris. Then they went car shopping at the local Mercedes dealer. Sky wanted the car in hot pink -- they don't make a Benz in hot pink so she wasn't happy. Mom ended up giving her a hot pink mustang. I could go on and on about the ridiculousness that I saw.
It got me thinking about the values some children are being raised with. I don't understand the obsession with all of the material stuff. If you could just see some of these homes the birthday girls live in -- they're huge and filled with flat screen tvs, pools, pool tables, cars........... They have this sense of "entitlement" and are spoiled rotten!
What happened to playing kick the can with the neighborhood kids and eating mac 'n cheese? What happened to doing chores and cleaning up after yourself? What happened to basic cable and atari? What happened to walkman's and walking to school?
Maybe I'm getting old...but, seriously, I see all of the stuff that kids have today (including my own nieces and nephew) and I'm amazed. What will their children want? Will they grow up to appreciate all they have?
I was raised to respect myself, respect others, and accept responsibility for my actions. I wonder if kids today are being raised this way. I was raised with love and mom instilled a sense of independence and appreciation in me. We were disciplined when necessary (mom had a stash of wooden spoons) and we learned from our mistakes.
I can only hope that these Sweet 16's will grow up to be productive members of society and lose their sense of entitlement.
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