Monday, November 24, 2008

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good: I realized today that I have really awesome people in my life. They are supportive, kind, hysterically funny, and always make time for me.

The Bad: A person whom I admire (T) passed away this morning. He suffered from a brain tumor. It got me thinking about my step-father or "Poppy" and I lovingly called him. He, too, suffered from a brain tumor and passed away three years ago. I know what T's family is experiencing. The watching of a vital, full of life individual slowly decline. At first, it may be confusion...which progressively gets worse. Then comes the blank stare because they don't know who you are or even who they are. Then, that final breath.

I remember when Poppy was first diagnosed with his tumor. It was the size of a lemon behind his right eye. We didn't even know he had it! He was perfectly fine one day then the next day he showed up at home (after going to work) confused and not knowing where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. By that time, the tumor had wrapped around the optical nerve and was inoperable. Not that Poppy was going to have the surgery -- he was dead set against it. So, we continued to live our lives watching the subtle changes. Finally, his doctor told mom that hospice needed to be called in. What an amazing experience that was. The staff could not have been more gracious and helpful. When we didn't have a clue, they did. When we just needed to talk, they were there. They were so amazing, in fact, that I chose to do my practicum for my Masters Degree there. Poppy took his final breath on February 2, 2005 at 6:15 am. Ironically, that date was the date of his first wedding anniversary. Irony #2 -- that date was my father's birthday (he passed away on June 19, 2004 -- his wedding anniversary with my mother).

My heart goes out to T's family. What a wonderful, supportive, funny man. A man that you'd want in your corner. He was so talented. Rest In Peace, my friend.

The Ugly: What is your first reaction when you see someone fall? Be honest. You either want to rush over and ask how they are or burst out laughing, right? That's what I do because it's funny. Now if the person is hurt, well then, you better not laugh because then that becomes downright mean.

My mother, God love her, has experienced many hardships and medical problems in her life. For the past few years, she's been on the right track. No relapses or serious issues. So, we go to see my niece, K, in a play on Saturday afternoon. If you've ever been in K's school you know that there are three steps leading up to the auditorium. We get there, go up the steps, find out seats and enjoy Act I. Then comes intermission. I stay, mom leaves to go to the bathroom. About 10 minutes later she comes back looking flustered. She says, "Didn't you hear me screaming?" I said, "No. What the hell happened?" She says, while she's laughing hysterically, "I just fell down the steps." So, by this point, I don't know whether to burst out laughing or what. She goes on..."I just walked off of it. The next thing you know I'm screaming 'Oh, oh, oh' like I am going to catch myself. I end up spread eagle on the floor. Banged my right side all up." What a scene. She was so pissed that I wasn't there because she really wanted to know what it looked like. She said she wished she had a "movie camera" so that she could have seen it. She's ok. A little worse for the wear but she managed to come to my house today and get 4 bags of clothes that I needed to go to Goodwill. Gotta love mom! You know what happens now, right? Next time we're anywhere and she's got to go to the bathroom -- I have to go with her and hold her hand.

This is my life...................I can't make this stuff up!

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