Thursday, February 26, 2009

Rudolph Anyone?

It's 2 am and I'm sitting in front of the computer with a box of tissues and a trash can full of used ones. My nose is sore and it's beet red. I've been battling this cold/allergy attack thing for a week. It's been so bad that I had to reschedule my clients.

I really stink at being sick. Most people would let the illness run its course and just take it easy. Nope, not me. I feel like I should be doing stuff and that the world will collapse if I'm out of touch for a few days. What's that all about? I'm not THAT important!

I think I'll take some more sinus medicine and hope that I can get some sleep before the alarm goes off in 4 hours for me to get myself to work. Hopefully I'll feel better and will be able to last the entire day..........

Monday, February 23, 2009

How Great Thou Art? I think not

I am totally beside myself right now. As I was cooking dinner, my ex-husband called. He said he wanted to talk to me about something. Oh, geez, here we go. So, before he starts his story, he asks, "Are you sitting down?" I hate when people say I'm going to faint or something. He goes on to tell me that this coming Sunday is his last Sunday at church.

Ok, back up....if you've read my entries you know the following:
1. My ex and I talk -- sometimes multiple times per day.
2. We both go to the same church (still)
3. I've been struggling with the situation in the church
4. I have not felt spiritually nurtured in quite some time.

So, I say, "WHAT?" He goes on to tell me that this Sunday's sermon was out of control. Our Pastor came down from the pulpit (she does this sometimes -- that's when we know we're "in for it") and preached "among the people." I don't remember exactly what he said she said but it was something like this:

* We come to church for the wrong reasons
* We don't worship properly
* These pews will be filled with new people, just you wait and see
* We don't put God first.

THEN, she went on to talk about the Pasta dinner we just had that raised almost $3,000 so that 7 of us could go to New Orleans in July to our National Youth Gathering. Apparently, "my" kids should have laid their request at Jesus' feet and he would have provided. EXCUSE ME??? Am I supposed to shuttle the kids to the airport and drop them off expecting that the nice people at the USAir counter will just give them a ticket because they prayed for it? Don't get me wrong, I have personally seen the miracle of God's provision and I have the ultimate faith that He will/does provide. This was our way of praying that He would provide and lo and behold, He did. Our congregation didn't have to support the dinner. Our congregation didn't have to donate items for the Silent Auction. Our congregation didn't have to do squat but they did and they did it with loving and open hearts.

By this point, I'm furious. The pasta is boiling over on the stove, the sausage is hard as a rock because I left it in the microwave too long, the ice cubes are melting.....

I told him that I was glad that I wasn't in church yesterday or else when she got to the part about the dinner and my kids, I would have stood up and said something to her. Right then and there whether she was in the middle of a sermon or not. It's one thing to insult me but don't you DARE insult one of my youth group kids. EVER!

I don't know what's going to come of this latest debacle but I do know that my ex will no longer be there. That really, really angers me....wait, no, it really, really pisses me off. He was the one who brought me into the church. He was the one who shared his faith with me. He was the one who supported me in everything I did and still do in the church.

HOW DARE SHE RIP THAT AWAY FROM ME? I am still pissed. Really pissed. I couldn't care less if I ever hear another one of her sermons again. I will still be there for the youth. I will still be there for my godson. That's it, no more, no less.

Oh Loving and Merciful God, only You know the path that you have laid out for us. We are walking this path in faith and know that you will never lead us astray. Please reach out to those who falter and fumble as they seek to follow. We know that you are with us each step of the way and are clearing the road ahead for great things to come. Show us your mercy as we experience these troubling times. Bring enlightenment to those who need it. Shower us with forgiveness so that we may forgive. Bring us peace. Amen.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Old Friends, New Friends

I've been up since the butt crack of dawn. I'm slightly hung over from a wonderful evening. It wasn't the beer that made it wonderful -- it was the people I was with.

Over the past few weeks, I have been reconnecting with former classmates (both high school and college) and really enjoying myself. My friendships have been deepening. I've taken some time to do some reflecting and have realized that I am truly blessed with wonderful people in my life. It's funny how, when you look back, you see that your friends/acquaintances are pretty much grouped. Each person's groupings are different but they all share a commonality.

My groupings are: family, high school, college, post grad, work, church, my biker friends, my WINGS friends, blogger/journal space, and some other random smaller groupings.

I think this all started with Facebook. Go figure! I have reconnected with so many of my high school classmates! I wasn't overly friendly with some of them in high school and didn't remain in touch with them afterwards. High School wasn't the best time of my life. I don't know why so that probably is one of the reasons why I didn't stay in contact or go to any of my reunions. Anyhoo...I traveled 2 hours yesterday to reconnect with one of my good friends in HS. She lives just outside of Easton, PA (cow country) with her two daughters. It was great to see her again. We picked up right where we left off!

Last night, after driving home, I went to the WINGS game with a friend of mine whom I've known for 20 years. She graduated a year after I did. Our ex husbands were friends so, naturally, we became friends and have been even through our divorces. We went to dinner with another friend. We had so much fun that I forgot what it was like to really belly laugh!

Then, at the game, we met up with another group of people who we see only during the lacrosse season. Some of our group weren't there. It amazed me that when we talked about going out to dinner before the next game to celebrate my birthday -- everyone said YES!

About two or three weeks ago, I received a friend request from a girl who I went to undergrad with. I had been looking for her for quite some time. We met for dinner and didn't stop talking for 4 hours!!!! It was wonderful and we didn't miss a beat. We fell right back into our silly antics and craziness. It felt so good!

I could go on and on about the different people in my life but, the bottom line is this: I am blessed to have such great people in my life. It's important to recognize that.

Have a wonderful day, hug your friends, say thanks, and don't forget to laugh or smile!