Mixed Emotions

I just arrived back home after a "two sleep" stay in Indianapolis. I traveled out there to award a scholarship in my Dad's memory. It was wonderful to see all of my dad's friends and those that I have come to know as "friend." Dad lived in Indy for almost 35 years. It was his second home. I visited so much that I began to think of it as my second home -- still do, actually.

Since he passed almost 5 years ago, I have traveled back a few times. Last year was the only year I haven't gone back since that fateful day. In the beginning, it was very difficult for me. I would drive past his old house, the RCA Dome (which isn't there anymore), the Conseco Fieldhouse, the Zoo, the hospital where he died, and the funeral home. Seeing all of these things brought back so many memories and so many emotions for me.

My dad and I had wonderful times. We laughed, we cried, we shopped, we ate, we saw the Colts and the Pacers play, we visited the Children's Museum and many other things. There was always something to do or someone to see. During the summers, my bro and I would hang out at his office. There was always an envelope that needed to be stuffed or a piece of mail that needed to be run through the postage machine. We learned a great work ethic and how to truly make a difference in someone's life.

As I got older and continued to visit, the activities were different but there was always one constant...the Children's Museum. From the time I can remember, we visited this place. I loved it and I never got too old to go back.

This trip was different. A new airport was built and so I had to learn how to navigate it. I was used to the old one where I would see dad at the bottom of the escalator waiting for me in the baggage claim area. Even after he passed, I could still see him standing there waiting for me. Since the new airport was built, the route to the hotel was different. I didn't pass the funeral home, I didn't pass the hospital, I didn't pass the million other things I remember passing on my way to the house.

There were many memories shared about dad while I was out there. I truly miss him. He was a major part of my life. He was my rock. He was my personal comedian. He was my biggest champion. He was my protection. He was my security.

Pop, I love you with all my heart and soul. Thank you for being you and helping make me into the person I am today. I miss you.................