Friday, June 5, 2009


So, it's a rainy Friday here in the suburbs of Philadelphia (or, Philly as it's better known). It's a little chilly but I'm okay with that. This week has been very busy. I am mentally exhausted and now have a slight headache. Ugh!

I am in the process of negotiating new office space. I really need to get out of the toxic environment that I'm in. I can't remember if I blogged about it recently and am too lazy right now to check. Anyhoo -- my new space is in the education wing of a church. It has a door and a lock, a nice big window with vertical blinds, cushy carpeting, and I'll be the ONLY person using it. It needs some cosmetic work but who cares? The people at the church were so excited and happy that I would be bringing my "ministry" there. It's so nice to be wanted and supported. I'm hoping to be seeing clients there on July 2 but I'm not sure that will happen. Say a prayer that it will. I still have to meet with their Church Council which, in my past experience with church council, may be a challenge. But, I will face it just as I've faced it in the past and God will guide the conversation as He sees.

I just finished up two days of Disaster Crisis Outreach Response Team Training. I will be on our county DCORT team and have volunteered to be contacted should a crisis arise where our services are needed. I'm pretty excited to be a part of this but really hope that nothing happens where we'll need to be deployed. All of this "disaster" talk got me thinking -- I am in no way, shape, or form prepared if something should happen. I think I will start to assemble a "to go" bag just in case. I don't know about stockpiling food, etc just yet. They kept talking about what the responder's family will need when the responder is deployed. A little depressing considering I'm the only one in my house. I have no dependants. I have no spouse. The only one I have to be concerned about is my cat and my neighbor can take care of him.

So here I am again faced with being a "one" in a world of "twos." Really stinks. Some days I am okay with being alone and other days I'm not. It's been on my mind quite a lot lately. Probably because I'm not getting any younger and wonder who will take care of me when I'm old and feeble? Not that I plan on being old and feeble any time soon but the reality of the situation is that it's me, myself, and I. I'm wondering if the fact that I turned 40 a few months ago has anything to do with this latest perseveration? Probably. Who knows?

For now, I'll continue on my journey and pray that something exciting crops up. Until then it's life as usual.


becomingkate said...

I think it's important to have an emergancy contact when you're single (I was single from 37-42) someone that knows all your numbers and info.
Do you have a file in your desk, with all your insurance info and will?
Stockpiling food is something I have to do - enough for three days. Water, granola bars, canned fruit.
I keep forgetting though!

JaneEllen said...

Stockpiling food....are you kidding? You know how long the stockpile would last - till my next emotional angst and then I would rip into all the comfort food I would have horded.

Oh, wait...maybe you are suppose to stockpile/horde healthy food - naahh. Jill, you are more than welcomed to come to my shelter and share in all of the good but, unhealthy food. What the hell - the world will be ending shortly if we are living in shelters. Might as well go out with a smile on our faces.

As for who will take care of you.... hhhheeellllooo, you are only a "one" in a world of two's in terms of pairing for propigating the species.

More importantly, you are "one" in a world of loving family and friends - This is the real world, where life happens. It takes a village to live, not a couple. Besides, even in heavenly wedded bliss, there are no guarantees that one spouse will awake up alone because the other has passed away.

This is where singledom has prepared you to know what to do and how to do it on your own. It teaches self-reliance, which is good.

So, come to my singledom shelter and we can watch each other grow old in a shelter stocked with chocolate, wine, cheese, crackers, and whatever food tickles your fancy. always, God is there in the midst of our singlehood. Of course, I keep asking when he will send me a lover - but he has not answered me, so far. I think I am being taught a lesson in patience. Is the lesson over, yet??!?!?

Love 'ya!