Don't have a clue how that title found its way out of my head because I was not sitting here thinking about paradise -- not at all.
It's been a rough few days in my head. I've been in a tailspin with work, church, my practice...it's almost as if it's all swirling around me and I'm caught in the center with no way in or out. This, too, shall pass. I get like this every so often.
I was glued to the Inauguration yesterday. I live streamed it onto our big screen at work and the lunch crew watched it. I was enthralled. Never has an inauguration fascinated me as much as this one did. There are probably a variety of reasons for that. One being that I think it is wonderful we are finally going to be led by someone who has a clue. Another being that I have a "thing" for dark skinned men. We'll save that for another blog. So, I watched. And, I read almost everything I could on the internet yesterday and today. I will follow this historic journey for quite some time and am looking forward to the days ahead.
Skip to my church life. We are gearing up for our annual retreat. We average 400 participants -- teenagers and their adult chaperones -- for this event. I have been involved since the inception and sit on the steering committee. I also serve as the Assistant Chaplain. I love this event. I leave there exhausted but spiritually uplifted. I can see the work of the Holy Spirit in everyone there. I'm looking forward to going.
Working on this retreat and other church stuff has me in close contact with my ex-husband. You should know that we parted company and are very good friends. He is remarried and has a son. We are better friends now than when we were married. All of this time together has really done a number on me. I got to thinking today about the connection we have and wonder if the tie I feel to him is keeping me from finding a mate? I'm convinced that there is someone out there for me and I keep wondering if it is him. Which then leads me to wonder if I shouldn't have stuck it out a bit and not rushed so quickly into divorce. Whatever the reason behind our relationship, I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned. I'm sure God has a hand in this but I just wish He'd hurry up and reveal whatever it is I'm supposed to do/learn/hear/see...whatever. On that note, I have to run to a Youth Advisors Meeting. It never ends in my world. Maybe this is my Paradise?
Be Well
J
3 comments:
It has to be tough spending heaps of time near an ex. I would think that it could make it difficult to move on
You said it -- trust me, I'm looking to move on, honestly!
While I don't question my decision to leave my marriage, espcially when my ex has been around too much, I always wonder if there is limited time when the brass ring is available. Is it like riding on the carosel and as we come around to the brass ring we either extend ourselves to grasp it or we inch back for fear that we might fumble and drop the ring, forever hearing it roll away from us?
Or, is the brass ring only available at certain times in our lives? Does it only appear when we are in harmony with ourselves? When life is on a relatively even keel with no major pits in the foreseeable future? Maybe then the ring is at its brightest, when we are secure in ourselves. We can reach beyond our comfort zone and grasp it, not worrying about the consequences. We can live in that moment.
Is this crap or does it make any sense?
JaneEllen
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